Leg Pain and Imbalance

I am in a lot of pain now. I just want to kill myself. My right leg has altered sensation. When I touch it with something cold (even changing clothes) gives me excruciating pain. it hurts like hell. It is also painful when  using toilet. ;'(

And since yesterday my both legs feel weak, like I have no muscles in them. I have so much trouble walking because I lose balance. I walked from Church to home and cried because of the pain and how weird my leg was. Please Lord, Please Please Please Help and Save me. I cannot Cope. :'(s

Optic Neuritis AGAIN :'(

Yes. I have Optic Neuritis again. It started yesterday morning while in train. Out of nowhere my right eye got weird. I thought it was the mascara on my eyelashes,

As the day went by, it cleared.

Today I woke up and I felt the weirdness again. its on the top part of my right eye as like in January this year. I have been wearing glasses all day, it seems to help ignore the blurness.

Also I had a flu jab today

BUT I AM SCARED. I do not know what caused this. I am crying and crying. I will not help with the ON, but I have no choice. I hate MS.

Please God, Help me. :'(

Hello.. 1/3 Medical Engineering done

SO.. I finished a a year of University without much problems.

Revision and Exam period was hectic, I was under constant stress about the exams and on top of it all, the stress about MS. But, I pulled through. I had my First Driving Practical test yesterday and I failed miserably, but oh well, next time.. :-P.

I am waiting for my Exam results and I am not expecting much, because I know I tried my hardest.

My weight-loss... hmm.. During university times, I did not pay attention to it at all. But the day after my last Exam, I have started Calorie counting again. I have lost about 11 kg (~24 lbs) from the highest weight I have been at. I still have a long way to go (~80 lbs... :"(  ).

I have lots and lots of friends now... (even a massive crush.. hehe). Only two of my friends know about my condition and they are very supportive.. especially when I had an ON episode in the middle of Statics Exam... hyuuuoooo that was one of the most scariest thing... but GOD helped.. he helped me a lot..

Now that I am free... I will try to post more.. <3

Optic Neuritis Episode-- I am scared. :'(

Hello,

I am crying while writing this post. I have no idea why I am suffering the way I am.

In 2012, I had optic neuritis in my left eye and it cleared after 6/7 months and took a year off university. But I do not have 100% vision like I had before the onset.

Now I have it in my right eye for a few days now and it seem to get worse. I just want to cry and cry and cry.

I pray everyday and does everything.. But there is no escape for this pain. I just feel like giving up. But I can't.

I can't quit, not now.

I feel like I have no one.

The last time I had problems was a day after I had a fight with my dad.. This eye problem also started a day after I had a fight with him. I just want to go back in time and just be normal again.

I cannot tell anyone. I am alone, unloved, scared, depressed, and uncertain about my future.

I do not know what I can change. MS seem to change me. and I do not like it. In fact, I hate it.

Hello..ello...llo...lo..o

Hello everyone,
I have not been posting anything since 17th September and today its 3rd December.. o_O.
I have been very busy with University and coursework and lab and everything.
I was symptom free till last week. So from July till end of November!!.. yay..

I started a sore throat two weeks ago and I had a flue jab last week. Then I was under constant pressure for 2 weeks to submit a major coursework and I can feel it taking an effect one me. :'(

I have

• 24/7 pain/burning pain in left leg, from my hit to toe in patches
• achy neck
• slight double vision
• fatigue
• trouble concentrating

Rebif Update.

I started Rebif on February this year, and guess what my 12th Delivery is in a week.. :-O

I need to get my nurse to re-prescribe the injections for future.

No more flu-like symptoms, but I still take paracetamols

I have MS Nurse appointment tomorrow for a regular blood test because I take Rebif.

Remember me in you Prayers.

Back to Uni

Hello..
Sorry I haven't been posting for a while. I was just focusing on me.
I have been going to couselling for the past two months and then driving lessons and then calorie counting.
Today I go back to University again after taking the year off because of the relapse and then the diagnosis.
I am very scared because NEW YEAR, NEW STUDENTS, NEW EVERYTHING.
My cousellor have been trying to help me to stop being so paranoid and treating everything as a possible trigger for a relapse. But i am just abt 1/100 of the way there. Its too hard.
Please remember me in your prayers. I hope I can continue going to University and not take leave again.
I will let you all know how it goes. :-)

Heavy hands

Like when I had the first relapse in October 2013.. I am having a relapse where my symptoms are escalating quickly. Within an hour, I cant really lift my left hand up. It feels like a tonne..

I will not be able to post for a while. Bye.

:-*... :'(.

Its a beautiful day, but I am not well

It is definitely a relapse

I feel so horrible..

everything below neck is numb, I can still feel and stuff, but its weird.

My fingers are so numb and very bad muscle spasm. I do not know how to get rid of it, I am still new to all this.. :(

Symptoms:

• Its really hard to type, as I cannot feel the keys sometimes
• I drop things constantly
• Showering is a task!
• No appetite
• Forgetting words that are so common
• Losing balance sometimes
• Under left foot there a stabbing pain when walking
• Under right foot it feels round, so a bit off balance now
• Going to toilet quite often
• FATIGUE

I am going to e-mail my MS Nurse and ask her if I should go an see her or go to GP.

The reason I think I have a relapse now is because of a few reasons:

1. On 8th June, we had a party at out house, hosted by my parents for about 40 people. We had caterers and there was a lot of food left over, so we shoved the food in containers and put it in our fridge, so I guess the temperature varied in our fridge. For the next few days, the fridge temp was like 9-13 degree Celsius. All this time, my medication is inside the fridge. So maybe this week I was injecting myself with gone off Rebif.
2. I had flu with 37.9 degree Celsius on Wednesday and I was ill since Tuesday. So maybe the increase in core temp caused the relapse.
3. I have been stressed for a few days now, with my parents and brother. So I shouted a lot, Cried a lot, and been generally upset, so that caused the relapse.
4. Or, its a relapse, face it. Pray to God. Keep Faith.

Numb hands, body and mind

So basically two days ago..(13/06/2013), I woke up with a fever. I checked my temperature and it was 37.9 C or 100.3 F.

I was feeling so warm and nauseated.

So basically my body temperature shot up and it was the day after my injection. So injection's flu-like symptoms and actual flu symptoms..

I was able to manage it all with like 4 paracetamols and the flu went away.

But since yesterday, my hands started to become numb again, it hurts when I type. By the evening, my whole body is felling that "clothes-sliding-around" feeling again.. oh boy, I HATE IT..

I woke up today and it is at its worst.. everywhere it got that feeling. down to my toes.

also under my foot, it feels like there is something there. and it is poking me.

*SOB*..

Dear Lord, Please help me..

Driving lessons

I went for my first ever driving lesson on 10/06/2013.

It was fun, apart from the fact that I freaked out a couple of times and hit the brake suddently and got the car into a kerb.

Nothing majorly horrible happened. after three trials, I drove the car smoothly and parked it, according to the instructor "perfectly parked".. (tap on the shoulder).

There was a constant worry in my head that something bad is going to happen, like a seizure, or a numbness or something.

When I got home, I was so tired and my whole body felt like vibrating from the inside out. Maybe it was all the adraneline from driving for the first time.

Anyways, I cannot wait for the next lesson.

¥

Cheer up.. hehe

Rebif ® reactions are back

So basically I said a few weeks ago that I don't have side effects afters the injections. It was just for a week, unfortunately. All the three injections were from one cartridge of medicine. And it was the same week I had a relapse. So I havr many questions!!.

- Why didnt it work?
- Did the medicine go bad?
- Does the medicine have no effect during a relapse
- Why do I still have sideeffects from the injection? I have taken abt 40 injections so far.

Ok.. thats it.. TOODLES!. :-*

Weightloss

So for a few years I have beentrying to lose weight.. didnt really work.. for the past few months i have been  counting my calories.

I can announce that I have lost a total of 9.7 kgs or 21.38 lbs .. I am not going to say from what weight.. :-P but my goal weight is 70kg.. hopefully I will reach that soon..

It is quite hard now that I have MS.. I am scared to go to gym.. I used to go to gym before I gt diagnosed.

Hopefully I will lose the kilos throught counting calories and some moderate excercises.

Insomnia is a B*tch

Its 5:13 am and I am still awake.. i have heart pain and back pain and everything..

I dont think I will be able to sleep anymore..

Sleepness nights

So.. its 3:12 am.. and I am still not asleep. I have been in my bed simce last night 11 pm.. but I just cannot sleep..

I am so disturbed.. My arms are acheing, my back is feeling stiff, so ai can only lay on my back and not turn or be in my comfortable position, I feel sick, I see nightmare when I close my eyes.. I can hear my Dad snoring from my parents room.. etc etc..

I just went downstairs to take two paracetamols and apply some gel to my back and neck.. now I am back in bed. I still cannot sleep. I have to wake up at 8 to go to church as well..

I am trying to recite the rosary, but my back is causing distraction..

I hate insomnia.. :'(

Hands are numb again.. :'(

So basically since last week (after I mowed the lawn), my hands have been slightly numb, but no pins and needles.

Last night I was sleeping in constricted spacr and I woke up today with my hands a lot more numb and it is painful to touch them.

Also the "clothes-sliding-around" is also back.

Why is this happening even if I am regularly having Rebif® injections.

The nurse did say that it is not supposed to stop relapses completely, but to reduce the amount of symptoms that I will face.

Also I go back to Uni again on September (2013).

I am placing my trust in Jesus. Only God can help me.

Saint Lucy - Patron Saint of Eye Sight

Hello everyone, As you all know, I had Optic Neuritis and I lost complete vision in my left eye on September 2012. I have been praying to Saint Lucy for the healing of my eyes.

I prayed to her everyday and I got my vision back. I am very grateful to her and I want to share the prayer with anyone who have a problem with their eyes.

Saint Lucy,
Whose beautiful name signifies light, 
By the light of Faith which God bestowed upon you,
Increase and preserve his light in my soul,
So that I may avoid evil,
Be zealous in the performance of good works,
And abhor nothing so much as the blindness and the darkness of evil and sin.

Obtain for me, by your intercession with God,
Perfect vision for my bodily eyes
And the grace to use them for God’s greater honor and glory
and the salvation of souls.

St. Lucy, Virgin and martyr,
Hear my prayers and obtain my petitions.
Amen.

Out in the Sun

So today I decided to mow the lawn, and it was 19C out.

I asked my Dad and Brother to do it, but they said they cannot be bothered. So I did it

Surprise Surprise, now my hands are numb and my back is tight and my Knee hurts.

So i guess my "core body temperature" raised.

Does this mean I can never workout?..

Oh and by the way, I collected my glasses yesterday, and I love it.. I can see clearly again now.. after living as a half blind for months, I am happy again..

I dedicate everything to Saint Lucy.

Rebif 44mcg Update

Hello...

I am back..

So I have had fourteen 44 mcg injections so far and I have to say that I am pretty happy now.

To my surprise, its not as bad as the 22 mcg dose. But I do have the same side effects, but I just take 2 paracetamols before I go to bed and I wake up feeling normal.

I had my one month blood test on 27th March and the MS Nurse said she will call me if anything is wrong. I still haven't heard from her, so I thinks all is well.

I had my eye tested again on the same day (if u all read the older post about my eye test and the start of optic neuritis, u will understand this better) and my prescription changed and I went back there again last week and ordered glasses. Its coming on 22nd April..YAY.

If any of you have any questions about taking Rebif. Just e-mail me.. :)