Merry Christmas!!...

Merry Christmas Everyone...

Here's my Christmas tree I decorated...lol...

It might look a bit over the top, but we had a Christmas tree competition from church..

The crib is handmade by moi. And there are 3 threes and a snowman (made by my uncle)..

Painting Again..

I am so excited to say that, my hands are so much better and I can paint again.

a few sneak peaks of my paintings that I finished today..:)

Four Seasons

Alone at night

This is incomplete.. this is just the corner of the canvas and its going to be called MS

Goodbye uni.. for now..

Today I went to Uni to submit my deferral application... I will admit, I was pretty sad, coz I was doing my dream course.. Now I will have to pause it for at least a year...:(...

Getting Better.. :-)

I thought I will give an update on my condition now after 3g of methyprednisolone is in my body...

Well, I can pretty much walk normally now.. I can use my hands (still about 50% numb).. still cannot taste... left side of body is a bit numb.. I am going to uni to apply for deferal...

Physio appointment

I had physio appointment today... I had to wait for like 3 hours..

I got crutches now.. that's all for today... so tired...

Steroid day 3

Day 3...

I am actually gonna miss coming to ambulatory unit everyday... the room got a nice view and the nurses are so kind to me..

It was quite boring today.. I didn't get to sit at the conservatory...:(

I saw another girl across me, who also have MS, and she is like 24.. she doesn't know that I have MS..

My neurologist came to visit me after 6 pm. He talked to me for like half an hour and was surprised to see that I was still smiling... hehe...

There are only a few sad things in my life atm...

I have MS
I cannot go to University now
I cannot paint now
I cannot write now
I cannot cook now
I cannot taste anything
I cannot walk now

I have physiotherapist appointment tomorrow... I hope they can help me with my mobility issues...:)..

Steroid day 2

Day 2....

Started the IV steroid at 3 pm again and finished after 6 pm... it didn't feel soo long, the nurses gave me a recliner chair, so I was soo comfortable... hehe.. I was just listening to music.. my symptoms are still the same... no change...

Can't hold anything with my hand
Can't go to toilet
Can't walk properly
Can't eat
Can't think
Can't text
Can't cook

etc..

I love my nurse...:).. she is soooo funny

MRI and Results.. Oh No!

MRI...

Today at 8 am I had Emergency MRI... It took about 50 mins.. but I didn't notice it.. as I was praying the whole time... I was reciting rosary (I am a Catholic)...

It was sooo hard to lay down in the bed, coz my back was feeling sooooo tight and painful...

I went to ambulatory unit straight after the MRI to get my results, but the nurse there said I should go home as the doctor is not in yet and they will call me when they analyse my MRI.. So I was pretty sure that there isn't anything Major...:)

Results...:(

2.00 pm: I was chilling out at home thinking that my MRI is normal and there is nothing to worry about.. but literally after a few seconds the phone rang and the nurse is a friend of my aunt and a nurse at the ambulatory department, she told me to get to the hospital ASAP.

2.30 pm: At hospital waiting for the doctor, then two doctors and two nurses came to call me, my Mum, Dad and my Aunt was there too.. (My mum and aunt are both nurses). I was taken to a room with the doctors and my family. Then the doctors asked me do I have any idea what I might have.. I said MS.. coz I already knew about the disease and I suspected it when I had the leg trouble back in March...

2.45 pm: Doctors told me that my MRI was abnormal. They found lesions in my brain and spine.. Then I have Multiple Sclerosis.... Finally I can put a name to my weird symptoms.. and they decided to start the steroids... ASAP

3.00 pm: Starting Methylprednisolone IV 1g for the next three days.... and three hours each

after 6.00 pm: Finished the course for the day... had a lot of trouble walking, but my mum supported me to walk.

Given a clue..o_O

I went to A&E again today.. so fourth time this week to hospital.

I was there from the morning and got checked by about three doctors.

Then told me to wait for a few hours.

Then a nurse came and told me to sit in a wheelchair and I was taken to ambulatory unit, there I saw a senior doctor and he checked my balance and co-ordination, then checked eyes and everything else.

He told me what he and the other doctors suspect I have.... Multiple Sclerosis...

I wish they hadn't told me now.

EEG results...

So today was Dr. Walker's appointment to discuss the EEG results...

Well good news.. EEG is normal...

Bad news.. He did not receive any information about my eyes or my numbness or the fact that I went to Emergency 7 times since I saw him... Yeah nothing in his files... what sort of organisational skill does NHS have?.. I am more organised than that..lol

So he did a check up.. and he said he need to do an MRI of my Brain, Spine and Eyes.. So yh..

Btw, I had a mini seizure today... YH

From my Health Diary:

• Woke up at 1.45 am. Went downstairs to have water at 3.45 am. Went back to bed at 4.15 am.
• Left side of the body, - esp hand and leg – felt very tight and uncontrollable. Couldn't open eyes and speak. Lasted for about 10 seconds. Then called parents.
• Went back to sleep at 5 am.
• Woke up again at 9.30 am. Hands are very tight and numb. 
• Very hard to get up from bed because I feel so heavy and the body is sensation-less such as pressure, but body feels so heavy.
• Hard to control hand, it feels heavy.
• Back of neck feels stiff and the pressure on spine still present.
• Very stiff on both legs. Hard to walk, feels heavy.

A&E again 2

I went to Emergency again... My condition is worse....o_O

From my health Diary... these observations..

• Numbness has spread to whole arm and the right leg. Very hard to walk and imbalanced.
• Pain at back of neck and top of both clavicles.
• No bowel movements.
• Tongue left side-no sensation

So yeah...

They still didn't tell me anything..

I have Dr. Walker (Neuro) Appointment for my EEG results tomorrow... I hope he can help..:)

A&E again...

I couldn't go to Uni today... pins and needles, people...


My torso felt weird. Like clothes sliding around and dry and frozen skin and hands and feet were very tight at night.


My ring finger and pinky involuntarily contracted back when hands opened. and due to feet being sleepy, very hard to walk. Losing balance sometimes and felt like knee is weak

I FORGOT TO MENTION IN PREVIOUS POSTS THAT WHEN I WAS IN LECTURES, I WAS HAVING TROUBLE CONCENTRATING AND COULDN'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING SOMETIMES, ALSO I STARTED FORGETTING PEOPLE'S NAMES AND MATHEMATICAL FORMULAE THAT WERE SOOO FAMILIAR TO ME.

I went to emergency.. but they checked my vitals and said there is nothing wrong with me...(WHAT?)

but the nurse there told me, she will call my GP and if he sign a letter for me, they will check me further...

So I went to GP, he send me a letter, I went to Emergency, they questioned and checked me for like 3 hours and said they will need to do an MRI again... oh God... so yeah.. No asnwers yet...

Getting worse..and last day of university for me

Today I woke up and found that my finger tips are so tingly.. it was soo annoying...

I couldn't hold the toothbrush properly or anything...:(

But, I decided to go to uni anyways... BTW, i came home yesterday without attending any lectures as I was ssoooooooooooo nauseated and fainty (not even a word..lol)

I was in train with Kinjal and I noticed that the pins and needles have started on my feet too...oh no...

I managed to get to University... I was soooooo early... Kinjal and I sat down and we still had about 30 mins left before the lecture and us two were the only people in the class... the day went by and in lectures I couldn't hold a pen.. my whole hand was numb and had really bad tremors.. my hand was shaking so bad...

If it goes on I won't be able to go to Uni on monday...:(

GP checkup and A&E

Today I had a GP appointment to check my numbness in the leftside...

I went there and he did some tests... he even poked me with needles... but nothing.. nada... no pain or feeling whats so ever... o_O

He was confused.. he has never seen something like it...lol

I went to A&E and I told them my one side of body is numb and please check it for me..lol

A junior doctor checked it and he suggested it could be a pinched nerve or something.. also I haven't gone to toilet to do anything for the last one week...

He called a senior doctor and he said its pinched nerve as well... so I thought it was a pinched nerve as well and went back home...

hope it will go away...:)...

The beginning of it all

Today I woke up and I found out that my left side of my whole body is numb and weak.

I was so happy yesterday, but today its the opposite.

I cannot feel any pain when i pinch myself and if i put something cold on my skin, it feels like its burning me and if it is hot, it is freezing cold.

I am going to go to the GP, if this continues.

My 20th B'day

My 20th Birthday and I am not a teenager anymore. Didn’t feel any mature, but I was excited to go to university and not make a fuss, like I did last year. My friends only knew it was my birthday a day after. I had four hours of lectures from 9-1. I got a text from Sanna saying that she is in the Ground and I should hurry up. I went there are and Ilkay, Sonal and Grace were there. There was a huge bag full of gifts and Sonal was trying to hide a birthday card, because she was writing something in it. I read the card and it was beautiful. They loved me; at least someone did. Sonal and Grace had to go to their lectures, but Ilkay, Sanna and I were free. It took us about half an hour to decide where to, know me will help you understand.

We ended up in Nandos. I had the ¼ chicken combo meal with fries and garlic bread. It was so yummy. We sat there for a long time and talked a lot about how we miss the SEFP and when all of us were in the same lectures. At about 4 we decided to leave and go home. I was so excited to open the presents on my way home. It was so cold. In the bus, I was sitting near a radiator and it was so hot. I was very sick on my way home, but I made it.

I got home and I opened it. A beautiful silver bracelet, a gorgeous bath set and a lovely gift set. I loved it. I texted everyone about how grateful I am to have friends like them. I was happy again after a long time. I forgot I couldn’t see with one eye, I had seizure a few months back, and I am depressed. I slept peacefully that night.

Uni days

University Lectures started on 24th Sept, and I am finding it so hard in the lectures. Because I cannot see properly with my eyes and I am constantly worried about my seizure and everything. I am not happy , I am constantly Stressed.

I just cannot see anything, I always have to sit in the front, I do not have a lot of friends, it is sooo annoying.

My lecturer doing a dissection

Back to University

Today was a horrible day, I finally left my house by myself after 4 long months since my seizure. And it was made even horrible by the fact that I am half blind.

I couldn't see properly. Couldn't talk to people properly. Cannot look around properly. It was a disgusting day. I couldn't read the board, nothing, everything was grey.

OH, God, Please show some mercy on me. I am suffering a lot and I do not know how to carry on.

I don't know what to say

Sorry I haven't been posting for a while now. ever since the EEG, my eye has gotten worse, I went to casualty three times after that and I have to say that I lost complete vision from my left eye.

I lost about 90% by 11th September, but the doctors said there is nothing wrong with my eyes.. how stupid are they??.. I can't see a bloody thing..

So yesterday, I went back again and I persuaded the woman there to check my eyes again and again, so she decided to check the back of my eye, which they haven't done yet, the last three times I was at the casualty.

She asked me did I recently have and MRI, lumbar punch or CT?. I said I had an MRI and EEG to check for epilepsy.

Then she told me I have Optic Neuritis and I should have an MRI again to check for MS.

I am devastated. I don't know what to do, I cannot see with one eye, other eye is shortsighted, I start University again in just three days. AAARRRGGGHHH

Lord, Help me.

EEG - Royal Hospital London

Today is my first ever EEG test.. wooooh

It is to test whether I have epilepsy or not. It is at Royal Hospital, White chapel, and right next to my university, Queen Mary University of London.

It took me and my Mum a while to get to the EEG department, coz it is a HUGE hospital (I had to go to Neurophysiology btw)

It was quite a wait for the technicians to call me to do the EEG. 

The EEG was okay, but my eyes went weird after the photo sensitive test, but it became normal after a while.

Appointments for eye

I went to GP and he told me to go straight to the eye casualty, coz he doesn't have the equipment to check my eyes. So I went to the eye casualty at PAH.

The doctor there checked my eyes and said there is some cell damage, so he gave me an eye drop and told me to put them on. I told him I have an EEG tomorrow, but he said it will be fine.

So fingers crossed.

Boots Opticians..

LT eye vision is perfect, RT eye needs -0.5 lenses. Optician found slight cell damage but told me to go to GP, just in case.

I went to church today and say Jincy aunt, Liya and Sara, I was at their house till about 8 pm. Then went home.

Not so Happy Onam

Yesterday I had a Onam Dinner with my Uncle's Family.

Onam is basically a celebration from Kerala. I had a good meal, and it was all vegetarian.. hehe

Today I woke up and my eyes are a bit weird. Its kinda heavy and painful and weird. I booked an appointment with Boots opticians for 1st september and I have a GP appointment and dietician on 4th September. 

From Hospital

Hello Everyone.

I am writing this post from the hospital bed.

So basically I finished my first year exams one week back on 24/05/2012. I think I did well in the exams. I was very well prepared and I am confident that I will pass with a 1st class.

Yesterday (1/06/2012), I went out with the parents for garden shopping. We bought a lot of plants. I was so happy. I got home and had lunch. Also it was a nice and sunny day.

I went to the toilet at 7.30 pm and my mum told me she is going to her Brother's House, which is about 3 mins away. At about 7.45 pm, I got an anxiety attack, I started thinking "how to make pot noodles from scratch" and i was feeling so weird. I got out of the toilet and went to my room. My head was feeling so weird. I thought I am going to have another migraine attack. I took the tablet out of my bag, i couldn't even open my eyes. I couldn't read the expiry date, so I decided to call my mother, but so hard to use the phone. But I managed to use it and call her. I told her to come home ASAP.

Then I got a text message from my brother. I forgot my phone password, but in a few seconds i remembered, then i couldn't understand the text, but then i read it and replied.

after a few seconds at about 8.05 pm, I sat down in my chair and I felt one of my body seizing up and going tight. I was losing my conscious and I thought I was having a stroke, I wanted to use the phone to call 999, but i couldn't. then i tried to make noises to wake up my dad sleeping next door. i remember making some noises, but with 3-4 seconds i lost complete consciousness.

I regained consciousness at about 9 pm, I was on the floor in foetal position. I couldn't walk or speak or understand anyone around me. I just wanted to lie down. I was taken to the Emergency Room, they took everything seriously, did a lot of blood tests and it took me a few hours to regain complete conscious.

They decided to admit me at the hospital for observation.

So here I am, still in hospital bed, being checked over and over by a lot of doctors, neurologists etc..

I am going to have an MRI soon to check my brain. they suspect it could be epilepsy.

Leg Update

Hi.. I am gonna give you an update on my leg..:-P

Well its the same, or worse.

I feel when coming down the stairs at the train station, nearly fell in my lecture hall, and on the road and in the bus... So no improvements...

I find it even hard to go down the stairs now. I don't know how long it will last for. I am scared that I will be like this for ever. Nobody can understand what I am feeling.. Just me.. 

I haven't even told my friends that my legs are weird. I just hide from them and pretend everything is okay.

Its so hard to get into bathtub and going up and down the stairs. I have to sit down to put on my trousers. It is soooo hard.

My Introduction to Engineering Lecture is on the 4th floor and the lift is not working. I have to walk up the stairs with my near paralysed legs and I am always late and cannot tell the reason..

GP appointment for Leg wierdness..

Today (13/03/2012), I had a GP appointment for my right leg.

I went to the GP and he checked my legs and he said maybe it is just calcium deficiency or something.

He told me to do some leg exercises and said it will hopefully go away.

So no medications of anything, but just exercise and plenty of water.

First Signs

Today (12/03/2012) I woke up to go to university and I found out that my right leg is feeling so weak.

I couldn't lift it up properly to put my jeans on, to put socks on or to put my boots on. But I managed to do them. Walking down and up the stairs was very hard. My legs were like paralysed.

I was walking to to the bus stop at 7.00 am and I just couldn't walk as normal. It was soo weird. I was sort of limping. I was feeling so scared. How could this happen. Without any reason.

I managed to get into the bus, then get to the train station.I was walking to university and it was so hard, but I made it. But walking up even the five steps of GO Jones building was hard. Going down the stairs wasn’t so bad. So I called mum to make an appointment with GP, and got the appointment for next day, 13/03/2012.